A good trader is just like a bloodhound, gentle, patient, noble and mild-mannered (according to Google) but opportunity makes you start to dribble like a baby. Well…
We smell blood in the Sharktank.
Big money is planning to overthrow the king!
Grab your notepad and join us on a brief trip down the rabbit hole as we expose THE DOG DAY CONSPIRACY.
(You’ll also find a special offer down there too if you’re interested)
1st a History Lesson:
Dogs as a conduit for power
You’ve heard the expression ‘A dog day afternoon’… well what does it mean?
Well in modern terms it refers to one of those hot, lazy afternoons during the hottest part of summer, usually considered to be July and August. (note that down in your investigative journal)
Importantly though, in ancient Roman times, people associated the heat during this period with the concurrent rising of Sirius, the brightest star after the sun, nicknamed “the dog star”. (note that down too)
Dogs were ritually sacrificed to appease the gods and bring sweet relief from the fiery heat. Yes, dogs bring the power to change the very world we experience.
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Introducing the shadowy super coders protagonists in our story
Elon Musk, Mark Cuban and Vitalik Buterin … have made it onto the board as our leading men.
To add to your notes, this is their existing rap sheet for crimes against Bitcoin (and Dogs):
Elon Musk
- Broke the Bitcoin Bull Trend
- Named his dogs Gatsby and Marvin the Martian
- Relentless Doge meming
- Honorary ‘dick in space’
Vitalik Buterin
- Made Ethereum (boooo say Bitcoin Maxis)
- Suspected to have never owned a dog, only burns them
- Definitely burned 6Billion Shiba Inus
Mark Cuban
- Owns $500 of Doge, a clear insult to Bitcoin
- ‘Wild Earth’ vegan dog food (google it) never made it into the tummy of hungry dogs
- Early signs of abusive behaviour toward Bitcoin in the media
Enter the the Doge ‘Advisory Board’
Democrat senator Elizabeth Warren warned us about the dangers of ‘shadowy super coders’. This is exactly what she meant. Without a doubt.
This dream team combines money, smarts, meme wizardry, and these ‘alleged’ conspirators are coming out guns blazing as we can see below:
(I hope you’re still taking notes)
Mark Cuban has already been making outrageous claims. He thinks the little yappy meme dog is the ‘strongest’ and could easily beat Bitcoin in a bare knuckle cage match.
Elon Musk seems to agree.
With Vitalik Buterin bringing his 298IQ to the table…we can only imagine the fascinating plans they’re concocting in order to create alliances, sow discord and take down the king.
Are the shadowy council behind the sudden surge in dogs online being sacrificed for the Doge campaign?
Indeed, indeed. Most troubling….
- It’s August, Sirius “THE DOG STAR” is rising
- The fiery heat is being felt around the world
- Ritual Dog sacrifice brings real change to our world through the power of the Gods
The new shadowy super coder council is preparing to sacrifice DOGE on the Crypto altar
These undeniable facts point to only one truth…
The horrifying conclusion:
Eth flippening failed. Now through the power of DOG sacrifice we shall see a bloody overthrow of the one and only king…
Watch on as the the shadows enlist the power of the #DOGEARMY to do their bidding.
DOGE will be made king of the online currencies. THE DOG DAY IS UPON US!
How are we so sure?
We also know a little something about Doge sacrifice. It powers our copy-trading algorithms.
That’s why we average a 70-80% win rate across most of our strategies.
We’ve been onto this latest chapter in the Doge plot for almost a month now and we’re ready to keep adding fuel to the fires with all signal algorithms patiently waiting to strike.
If you want to try copy-trading powered by the combination of easy-to-use technology and the channeling of ancient gods then here’s your chance to get started.
For new members we are offering $111 off of any package you choose and that stacks with any long term subscription discounts!
All you need to do is enter that coupon during the checkout.
Bonus for nerds: Why were the Romans hating on dogs?
Once upon a time, the Romans were under attack as the Gauls invaded following a commander called Brennus (he’s a chad obviously).
The Gauls launched a sneak attack by night hoping to surprise the Romans who had the home team advantage. As the sneaky Gauls came closer to the Roman camp a flock of geese burst onto the scene making ‘hella noise’.
The Romans woke up and won the day.
The guard dogs failed in their job and this led to a ritual punishment each year (thought to be August 3rd). This was called The supplicia canum or “punishment of the dogs”
Live dogs suspended from a cross were paraded in the streets before being killed. And just to rub it in, they dressed geese up like kings and celebrated with them.
Bad dog.
Disclaimer
Most of this is a joke. We’ll let you figure out which parts.
But what’s no joke are our trading signal results, expert trading tools and customer feedback! Read how Tim turned $2,800 into $14,000 in just 30 days!
Trade crypto the “good dog” way, with the ProfitFarmers Co-Pilot.
